chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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