so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
