Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize