you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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