Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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