i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do vagina's smell?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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