It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
