Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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