walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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