She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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