hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
