Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
