YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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