So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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