Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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