I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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