"it" just moved
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
