i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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