All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
