dude i'm inner monologue high
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
