Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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