Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
