i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
