It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
