I wish I only lived at night.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
