I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they're like a gay fantastic four
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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