my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
