Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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