he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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