The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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