You can't special order awesome
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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