You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
