the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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