did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
