For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
