I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
