she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
