Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
