Can Purell be used as lube?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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