naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
