It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
