in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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