Don't make out with my wife yet
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
