i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
