um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
