Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
