i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
