Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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