she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
