but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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