i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
