So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
is wine microwaveable?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
