So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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