do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
