K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
