He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize