please come you make the beer taste better
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
