I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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