Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
